I’ve written a lot about Black Moon Lilith in synastry with other planets, but one question I get all the time is how one person’s Black Moon Lilith interacts with another person’s Black Moon Lilith in synastry. When these two forces combine, the effects can range from powerfully healing to downright explosive. Because the meaning can vary so widely, it’s important to look at each aspect individually.
· Black Moon Lilith trine Black Moon Lilith – When your Lilith is trine someone else’s, you are speaking the same language. You see each other’s pain and you deeply empathize with each other’s wounds. You see the way they’ve been scapegoated and treated unfairly by the world and have a deep desire to protect them and right the world’s wrongs by loving them in the way they were always meant to be loved. You remind them that they are worth so much more than they’ve been given, and they do the same for you. They are like a balm for your soul.
· Black Moon Lilith sextile Black Moon Lilith – When your Lilith is sextile another person’s, you get each other. It may take a little work, but once you really get to know each other, you find that you share a lot of the same childhood wounds. You also share a lot of the same ideas about how to make the world a better place. You can use your complementary perspectives to help heal each other and make change in the world. It’s not all smooth sailing, but this placement is an underrated gem.
· Black Moon Lilith conjunct Black Moon Lilith – This is as intense as it gets. You share a powerful, visceral, almost feral connection. You have been wounded in the same way and share a deep understanding. More than ever before, you feel seen. You know what’s wrong with the world and you’re determined to fix it together. But be careful. This aspect can be so consuming that you bond from a place of trauma rather than a place of strength. Make sure you are working to heal each other rather than to get revenge, and make sure you don’t wallow. Instead, use this explosive energy to heal each other and create a little niche in the world that is safe and warm for you both.
· Black Moon Lilith square Black Moon Lilith – If your Black Moon Lilith squares someone else’s Lilith, you and the other person are working at cross purposes. Something about them rubs you the wrong way and leaves you feeling frustrated. You might feel like you’re not completely heard when you try to share your vulnerabilities. There also tends to be one person with a little more power. Whoever’s Lilith is “overcoming” the other (meaning the one furthest to the right, or “ahead” of the other, going clockwise around the chart) will be able to set the terms, and they will often center their own wounds and dismiss the other person’s pain. But with lots of self-awareness and sincere effort, the person with the overcoming square can work to lift the other person up and ensure everyone’s story is given equal weight.
· Black Moon Lilith opposite Black Moon Lilith – This placement can get dicey. Here we have two people who have trouble seeing themselves and each other. One person may accuse the other of being a big wounded baby or get angry because the other person steps away and needs some space or lashes out in pain. But at the same time, the person making the accusation is also lashing out and acting like a child! Each person feels the wound within them and feels like the other person doesn’t understand. They also look at the other person with the contempt they may have experienced others showing them. You both become the victim and the attacker at the same time. However, if you can become aware of this pattern, it is easy to change. You can learn to take turns holding space for each other’s emotions and come to appreciate the unique perspective they provide. Sometimes being really understood by someone who may not share your feelings but is willing to hear you anyway can be the most healing experience possible. This placement has the roughest start but can bring the sweetest rewards.
No matter what aspect it is, having your Black Moon Lilith touch another person’s Black Moon Lilith is intense. The wounded, untamed heart in you recognizes that same heart in them. And with a little work, you can be wild and free together.
Does your Lilith aspect another person’s Lilith? What is it like for you?